i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
