party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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