k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
