TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
