What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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