Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
