I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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