WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
