Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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