I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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