I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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