Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
