We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
