his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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