Whod you bang
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
