dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
