Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
