I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
