Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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