yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
