Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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