The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
