that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize