We're facebook friends in real life
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Randomize
