You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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