I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
