I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
