dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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