She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
