I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
