Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
