Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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