Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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