And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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