You're so nebulous sometimes
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
