Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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