I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
