Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize