is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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