Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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