Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
