So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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