This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
