wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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