Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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