yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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