Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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