Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
