I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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