I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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