on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
