I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
