We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
