How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize