I want to make a zoo with you.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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