I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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