you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
