If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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