i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
