How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
