The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
