Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize