Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
