If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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