ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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