this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
