Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
